Ew.

Only 2 votes for Attack Attack!? You people disgust me.

Shitty Band Of The Week.

GODDAMNIT, THEIR KICKS ARE SO FUCKING ANNOYING.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ingested. Don't kill yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbqIn36DiSY

Look, a goat.

Because I can't be fucked at the moment, there's no new posts. Sorry I linked you here for nothing, baddies.

Fear not though! There's more to come, and it won't be all sunshine and fucking... uh, daisies. It'll be more br00t4lly kvlt than Asking Alexandria covering Emperor. I don't know what to review though. See, if I review something that I think I'm going to hate, I have to download it first. I don't like doing this, because if it's bad then I could never forgive myself! I'd probably have to take a power drill to my brain. Speaking of which, NEW BRAIN DRILL OMG QUANTAM CASTROPHE IS LIEK OMG SO GEWD EX DEE.

It hurt typing like that.

I wish I was a viking.

Why My favourite Bands are my favourites.

Ok. So Anyone who knows me slightly will know that I am obsessed with Radiohead. I have every studio album every b-side album and close to every single live performance (not really) that they have released or has become available over the net. Out of all these albums my favourites are 1)Kid A

2)Ok Computer and

3) in rainbows.

Instead of going through all of them I'm just going to go through why Kid A is my favourite.

Just so you know on itunes every song on this album has 5 stars so im not going to rate it humorously. Soz

SONG NUMBA ONE!1

Everything in its right place.

First thing i can remember about this song was having a short clip of a death bear slowly changing shape into some abstract whatever and the soundtrack was this song. Very energising, like all Album openers should be. I can't say much more because as a reviewer I'm supposed to cover the downsides to song and all I can say about this one is that it fits the album perfectly and I wouldn't change a thing. I guess that since Thom Yorke is a perfectionist you can't go too wrong anyway.

Kid A

Now when i first started listening to this album I wasn't too sure if i liked Kid A. I decided that it was too plain and boring for the time and I didn't like how Thom's voice was edited to sound like he was an AM radio-host who was talking through a 50 year old telephone. After not listening it to for years i heard it again and i was gob-smacked at how beautiful it was. It was like the soundtrack to an eery dream I had. For anyone who keeps skipping this song on their ipod, just wait till it gets to the end. The ending is amazing and it's worth the wait.

National Anthem

Awesome. Yay for 7-brass-instrument pile up.. nuff said.

How to disappear completely

I can't say I've ever been annoyed at this song so much as to skip it or not choose it when i see it. Every time i hear it is like im listening to it for the first time. This song creates a very melancholy atmosphere. I guess that and its lyrics are why this song is the reason most people think that radiohead is a dark/emo band. I don't think this song is too dark at all. I take its lyrics to be a reminder of happier more relaxing places. It does however become abit stressful towards the end where the quartet begins to play completely atonally. It's like suspense and resolution. all the instruments swirl around randomly and somehow link up nicely. awesome song overall. can't complain.

Tree Fingers

this song is... rather boring. It's a nice intermission in the album though. Created using only an electric guitar, several effects pedals and a loop pedal the song creates an ambient sound world. It's very meditative and i wouldn't consider it a song that one would want to listen to regularly.

Still, It's eerily beautiful. I wish i could create something like this. but then again i don't have an intensely expensive studio. Oh well.

Optimistic

Hahaha. for anyone who hasn't heard it, Look up the Hanson Cover of Optimistic. It sounds like Thom yorke back when he was a girl.

Anyway, this song, like national anthem is very energetic. Good crowd pleaser in concerts. It's a shame now though that Thom's voice restricts him from falsettoing as nicely as he used to. This song is suited for a mid-album energiser however I'm a little dissapointed because it could stand to be a bit more bassey. Anyway. NEXT SONG

IN LIMBO

pretty much just an eerily atmospheric extension to optimistic, cant say much. good though

Idioteque

This song used to scare the crap out of me. When i was 10 years old my brother convinced me with this song that i was going to be "killed by an ice-age". He wasn't too nice. He tried to convince me that i could fly if i eat grass too. Anyway. this song was inspired form an hour-long improvisational computer musicy thingy that johnny greenwood came up with. There was a 30-second segment which apparently amazed thom, so they wrote to song from there. See, thats what i like about radiohead. Everyone writes the music not just the singer. yayyyyyy. very enjoyable fairly dancy song. I never miss a chance to blurt out the chorus obnoxiously.

Morning Bell

Yay. Song about divorce. Favourite Lyric: Cut the kids in half.

There's an amnesiac version to this which i prefer because its less based on the drumline. I don't really know what to say. Singing is spot on and it all falls in together very well to make another perfect radiohead song :D.

Motion Picture Soundtrack

now, This is my favourite song of the album and by far the best album finisher in the world. I don't know what it is, but there's a different note in the chord where he first sings that just sparks awesomeness every time i hear it. I don't know why it confuses me so much but i can never pick it out. It's awesome though. When the harp kicks in... can't get more perfect music than that. From then on it's just perfection.

ALSO

wait two minutes or so at the end of the song and you get this technoey orchestral instrumental which is quite cool....

This album is a perfect example of how radiohead manages to put an album together so well. The song choice creates cohesion and overall the perfect album. I haven't noticed anything (other than that tiny lack of bass in optimistic) that really takes away from this album being perfect. It would be totally worth it if this album sells for $50.... or you could just torrent it.

The Devin Townsend Project has me Addicted!

Devin Townsend will always hold a special place in my heart as one of the greatest musicians I've ever heard. The dude's funny, clever, imaginative, creative and just purely awesome.

Alongside with 2009's Ki, Addicted was released. Addicted is easily the album that made 2009 for me, musically speaking. Addicted is the epitome of the phrase "less is more", which in this case, is not to say the album lacks anything. It merely states that it's straightforward, accessible and doesn't feature any over-the-top wankery (SUP NECROPHAGIST?). The album itself is part of the four album Devin Townsend Project, in which Ki (2009), Deconstruction (2011), and Ghost (2011) are also a part of. Addicted being the fun, happy infant of the four. It's no wonder everyone likes it.

Devin Townsend is no stranger to the music industry with around 20 albums (!!) on the market, spanning multiple bands and projects, but Addicted is the first album he's made that's been absolutely perfect for me. I'm not trying to say that his other work isn't amazing, because it is, and I'm not saying that the album is perfect for everyone as we all have albums that we masturbate furiously too. Yeah, back to the album.

Along with Devin's serene cleans and ear-cleansing screeches, Addicted features the vocal talents of Anneke van Giersbergen (The Gathering, Agua de Annique). If you're at all familiar with her work then you'll know that she has one of the stronger female voices in female metal, and has worked with bands like Napalm Death, Ayreon and Within Temptation. The mixture of two ultimately different, yet similar vocalists really pushes the album into your skull ("And even if it takes a lifetime to learn, I'll learn, IIII'LLLLL LEAAAAAAAARNNNNNN) and keeps the absolute catchiness of the album with you all day, everyday.

While on the topic of catchiness... Devin himself described Addicted as a pop metal release (No, I'm not citing it. It's blogspot. Have a cry) at heart and that it would be one of the most accessible things he's ever written. His words rang true. There's not a single song on Addicted that won't have you singing along, that won't have you wanting to move your ass and have fun! Songs like Hyperdrive! (Yes, it's redone off Ziltoid!), Bend It Like Bender! and Resolve! (Complete with exclamation marks!) will invoke every ounce of happiness in you, whilst THE AMAZING BALLAD Ih-Ah! will leave you clutching your genitals, praying that Devin will one day touch them. Shh.

There's a reason this album's been played by me close to 60 times in the past year...

5/5 NORSE GOOOOODDDDDDS

And to leave on a Devin note...

"I wanted to make a record that was heavy, without being dark or depressing. When I got into metal it was for the energy behind it, but somewhere along the way that energy started getting really negative. In music right now, there’s a ton of heavy bands that are really depressing to listen to loudly. I wanted to make a record without any real deep metaphor on the surface. Something that sounds good, has a good beat, and a positive feeling. It is still heavy as-all-get-out, but I think there’s a differentiation to be made between being ‘peaceful’, and being peaceful but wanting to celebrate loud, crushing music."

Listen to The Devin Townsend Project on Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/devintownsenddtb

When does music stop being music and start being noise?

Take these for example. I love both of them for their amazing technicality and ability to make me think about the music, but I can see how people would be unable to make anything heavily musical out of them.

http://www.myspace.com/meekismurder

http://www.myspace.com/psyopus

Thoughts?

Carcass

Heartwork.

This album is often praised as one of the finest heavy metal albums out there, and while I'm not the biggest Carcass fan on the planet I can respect what they did for the genre and that this is a quality album.

Heartwork itself grates on me. The drum tone irritates me and Jeff Walker's vocals plain piss me off. He's nowhere near as bad as someone like Oliver Sykes, but he's also not up their with harsh vocalists like JR Hayes (whom I would easily give my testicles to). The record also has a hollow feeling to me, which was constantly nagging at me and pulled away from the experience - I guess production wasn't top notch in '93 though.

Enough of this bullshit though. Onto the songs themselves.

1) Buried Dreams. This isn't an album opener. It's as simple as that. It doesn't open your eyes to Carcass and I'm sure that people would've gotten bored of this song. The initial riff is fun and moderately catchy, but it doesn't show you what Carcass are about. Simply put, it's meh. The solo on this song was, to me, pisspoor. It's cool and all, but the song doesn't progress into it at all. YOU'RE NOT FUCKING KERRY KING. Yadayadayada, ending double kicks are sweet.

2.5/5 carrots

2)Cranal Forge. This would have been a far better opener in my opinion. It's got a killer opening riff that is just full of catchiness (not like the AIDs kind, but like the "omg i'm a dog and i need to catch that frisbee" kind) and it's blatantly aggressive! The song sadly does degenerate though, and slows down rather rapidly which made me want to punch my junk. This can be cool if you're able to do it flawlessly though and Carcass really don't perform it well on Cranal Forge... which leads me to the length of the song. It wasn't too long, but by god it could've been condensed. Fuck.

3.5/5 pumpkins

Oh, by the way, everyone in Carcass had/has amazing hair.

3) No Love Lost. One thing I have to say about Carcass is that they knew how to write cool riffs. No Love Lost opens up with a really cool section that immersed me straight away. After that though, it god boring. The only part that stood out from the intro was the solo, and that was too fucking far away.

2/5 celery sticks

4)Heartwork. One of the only songs on the album that had me ready to punch someone full of love. It's full of facefucking awesome and shit-shiningly cool segments. Amott really shines in this song (HE SHOULD NEVER HAVE DONE ANYTHING WITH ARCH ENEMY EVER). I didn't look up the lyrics, but I swear "we're off to masturbate" was said somewhere near the end. From about 3:20 onwards, Carcass prove why they're one of the biggest and best things to happen to metal.

4.5/5 eggplants

5) Embodiment. Fuck off. YAWN.

1/5 "fuck you"'s

6)I don't know if it was because it followed one of the most meh-diocre songs of Carcass' career, or because it's just an awesome standalone track, but The Mortal Coil is the one song on Heartwork that had me fapping nonstop. Unrelenting speed, aggression, gallops that would make Maiden proud, epic harmonies... Yeah. Zero bullshit here. Perfect solo and some sweet headbanging moments here.

5/5. Masturbation worthy.

7)Abeit Macht Fleisch - Probably one of my favourite riffs on the album, though the song itself doesn't really go anywhere till the first minute. Carcass should pull me in instantly imo. After the first minute, the song really picks up and the direction is amazing, though I keep hearing blast beats and Suicide Silence comes into my head. Fuck the music in the modern ager we live in. The solo also doesn't really work for me and feels really forced.

4.5/5 onions

8) Blind Bleeding The Blind. I chuckled as soon as I saw the name of this song. Amott likes names like this. BLIND DEAD BLEEDING THE BLIND AND BURYING THEIR DEAD. There's some initial speed and sweet double kicking, but nothing that hasn't been heard already on the album. Thankfully that lasts less than 30 seconds and the song evolves into some amazing facefuckingly cool... thing. This is something that you could play fighting games to.

The only drawback to this song is that it could have finished at the 3 minute mark, but keeps going for another two. I'm not saying the last two minutes is bad, it's just that it's enough. Take a page out of Isis' book guys, GOD. The solo at the 3:50 mark DOES make the song, but it could've been incorporated far earlier. Then it gets back into the same shit as before and there's something said about decadence. Bleh.

4/5 peas

9) Doctrinal Expletives. Seriously, give Carcass a medical dictionary and there's an album for them. I was thoroughly unimpressed by this song. It's cool and all, but they did all this cool shit only one song ago. It's really just a watered down BBTB. I couldn't help imagining converting this song into rap and having some black midget hardcore dancing to it for some reason. Black midgets have always interested me. This song bored me so much that I was talking about black midgets. Shit yeahhhhh. It's not a terrible song, it's just... Samey! The song has one of the coolest solos on Heartwork, but again, I felt that it just didn't mesh with the song.

2/5 radishes

10) Death Certificate. I could tell this was the last song just by the opener. This is one of the songs that The Black Dahlia Murder's "I Will Return" reminds me of, and I don't know why. Death Certificate is definitely one of the most solid songs on the album and it's chock-full of sweet riffs and good vocal sections, followed by excellent harmonies around the solo, I was really close to jizzing. The breakdown after the solo made me cringe though. It's not that it's bad, it's just that breakdowns weren't the big thing in the early 90's and i'm so fucking sick of them now. A very solid way to end the album.

4/5 heartz.

Overall? 4/5 viking helmets.

Yeah. Fuck writing an ending.

Listen to Carcass on Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/carcass

The other guy.

Hi there. Im the other guy, kevin. I am the co-writer of this blog.

I enjoy taco's and those books of images which look 3D if you look at them the right way.

Alongside liam i shall be reviewing music. I can't really be bothered to look it up myself as i have other things to do. So i will let anyone who wants request what they want me to review. In my first real post which shall appear whenever i feel like it i will discuss my favourite and least favourite music.

And for now that's all i have to say. I shall now sink into misery knowing that I am the least exciting out of the two authors on this blog.

schbleh.

Hi.

I'm Liam. I can't grow a beard and I listen to music far more than I should. I have a deep fear of spiders, blood, water, heights, bridges, zombies, suffocation, Cthulu and hairy Greek men, and my hair is probably far too long.

Basically I'm either going to insult, neglect or praise whatever shit you listen to. Maybe soon, maybe never - I don't know. Maybe an album a week, maybe 398274 songs a week. I'LL DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT.