I'm bored. These are the bands I listen to in alphabetical order, but with a shitty description each.
Or something like that.
3 - Prog rock with a fuckload of catchy shit. WANNA LISTEN TO A SONG ABOUT A DOG?
16 - Boring as shit sludge/stoner metal. It's shit. I don't even know why it's here.
65daysofstatic - Electronic/post-rock. They're pretty much amazing with their piani and tha doof doof.
1349 - It's like Immortal were born in the 90's and wear flatcaps with corpsepaint. rar.
A Day To Remember - Faggot bullshit mixed with more faggot bullshit that rules on an unbelievable level. It's so gay that it makes my dick move.
A Perfect Circle - Only good for The Outsider. KBYE
Aborted - It's like they look at photos of Carcass looking at medical dictionaries and make music out of it. Oh, it's brutal death metal or something.
Afgrund - Swedish grindcore with clear Gothenburg influence. It's fucking heavy and so angry that anything under the age of 4 will have it's face melted into yuck.
After The Burial - MUTHAFUCKA COME AWN. Prog deathcore. Yayyyyyyyyyyyawnsometimes.
Agalloch - Depressing as shit and it makes me want to kill myself.
Agoraphobic Nosebleed - HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG WITH ALBUM NAMES LIKE FROZEN CORPSE STUFFED WITH DOPE? It's fuckin' sexy grind with a fuckin' rapetastic female vocalist.
Aiden - hahahaeheahsdkillme
Alexisonfire - WOW I USED TO LIKE THIS BAND AND I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHY. THEY'RE SO BORING AND DALLAS GREEN'S WHINE MAKES MY DICK SHRIVEL.
All Shall Perish - The bane of good deathcore (loloxymoron). It's shit. Other than one song. Fuck this band and everyone who likes them.
All That Remains - First album, good. Second album, better. Third album, meh. Fourth album, shit. Fifth album, junk-punchingly bad. I can't believe I used to like them so much. Fucking yawn.
Ambeon - The fuck is this?
Amosoeurs - Depressing as shit black metal. Listening to this makes me want to cut myself and then put my face in a blender. It's THAT metal.
The Amity Affliction - When did I get so much fucking gay music, goddamn.
Amogh Symphony - Some Indian dude who spends his time in a basement jacking off and doing shit. His music rules, though. It's weird proggy bullshit mixed with the occasional death metal.
Amon Amarth - I only have these guys for the novelty. The music bores the fuck out of me. COME AT ME, VIKING CUNTS.
Amorphis - what is this i dont even
Anaal Nathrakh - Black metal + Grindcore + 2 English nerds = The heaviest, most evil band that's still active and doing black metal shit. Angry dad metal.
Anathema - ABSOLUTELY DIVINE AND PRETTY AND LOVELY AND AMAZING AND LOVELY. It's atmospheric, it's rock, it's pretty. THEY CALL THEMSELVES ATMOSPHERIC ROCK. I'd fuck them.
Andrew W.K. - When it's time to party?
Andy McKee - Fatty with thin hands doin' shit to an acoustic guitar that I never thought was possible. SO FUCKIN PRETTY.
Animal Collective - Experimental rock shit, or something like that. It's catchy and awesome chillaxing music.
Animals As Leaders - I'm glad for Abe Lincoln.
Animosity - TERRORSTOOOOOOORM
Anthelion - Like Cradle of Filth, but minus the bad bits and with asians. Coo'
Aphrodite - BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF BADOOF YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Apocalyptica - It's like shitty mallcore. With cellos.
Arch Enemy - Okay, I need to clear this up. Angela Gossow is not a good vocalist. I don't give a fuck if she's got tits. So many other girls have tits (hopefully), and just because she can make herself sound like a dude after years of gagging on cock, screaming while she rapes gay and unsuspecting men and smoking computer parts doesn't make her cool. She's about as ugly as Pamela Anderson after having her face laid into with a pole vaulting... pole... vault... thing. Fuck this band.
OTHER THAN RAVENOUS, THAT SONG IS REALLY COOL.
feelsgoodman
Archeon - Melodic... Death... Power... Speed... Heavy... Metal? Fuck this band.
Architects - jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land jump land. AND THEN PLAY METALCORE.
Arsis - If you can get past the fucking guitar tone on We Are The Nightmare, they're fucking solid as shit tech death. With a fucking rock ANTHEM on their new album. Shit. Fucking. Yes.
Arsonists Get All The Girls - Funny as shit deathcore with some gay keyboards. They fucking rule if you're not looking for good music.
Arthemis - Power metal is so fucking gay, goddamnit. Fucking italian homos.
As I Lay Dying - Boring metalcore with one seemingly decent album. I literally threw their new album at a car. It's shit. They're shit.
ASYS - FUCK fuck ROCK rock
At The Gates - Sigh. Would kill for modern bands that are like this. It'd give me a raging boner.
Atreyu - MORE LIKE HAHAHAHAHAHATREYU MIRITE? Why do I even have this garbage.
Attack Attack! - I once promised myself I'd never get into this shitty band. I got into them. I still think they're shit, but fucking awesome shit. Kill me if I try making them out to be good, musically.
Augury - Some shitty progressive death metal band. NAH LOL, KIDDING. These guys are fucking stellar. They rip the shit out of most prog/tech death. It's weird at times but so good. SO GOOD. Imagine aliens fucking someone you don't like in the eyes and ears and you'll get the twisted satisfaction that these guys give me.
Austrian Death Machine - I used to think Tim Lambesis, or whatever his name is, was funny when it came to this band. Now I can't wait to skip this shit whenever it comes on. It's boring, it's shit, it tries too hard to be Arnold. There's only one song that resembles good music. Blah.
Avantasia - Why the fuck is power metal so gay, goddamn. The Scarecrow still rules >.>
Avenged Sevenfold - This is one of the bands I fucking hate to love and I fucking love to hate. They rule unbelievably. Like, the music is fucking great hard rock, but they fucking suck as people. I'd sooner kill them all (loltherevisdead) then suck any of their cocks, but there's no denying that I love three of their albums.
Avril Lavigne - HEY, HEY, YOU, YOU, I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. HEY, HEY, YOU, YOU, I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE. I love you, Avril. So much.
Ayreon - Over the top, wanky, gay, drama filled, bullshitty, power/prog metal that has so many amazing guest stars in the music. Mikael Akerfeldt, James LaBrie, Sharon den Adel, Simone Simons... Band rules.
Baroness - Seeing these guys was one of my musical highlights. Fucking awesome live, fucking awesome albums. They're stoner/sludge that rips the shit out of 95% of the rest of the related shit. Awesome song concepts, too. I also have a naked bitch on my Baroness shirt. Cum@me
Basshunter - PTERODACTYL ENGAGE!
Before The Dawn - I don't even know who the fuck this band is. Why are they on my computer. Oh. Melodeath. BORING.
Behemoth - Everyone knows Behemoth. Everyone knows they make fucking killer blackened death metal. Support Nergal, guys. He's sick and he's going through a lot <3
Beneath The Massacre - If you can get past all the core that's bleeding into their music, it's fuckin' sick tech death. Also, they're canadian. I think. I dunno.
Between The Buried And Me - Progressive metalcore that varies between fucking boring as shit and fucking awesome as shit. I don't know if I love them or hate them.
Birds Of Tokyo - WE MADE PLANS TO KISS THE SUN AT NIGHT. Doesn't even make sense. Fuck.
Black Sun Empire - Why is Drum n' Bass so fuckin' awesome? Their songs go for so goddamn long and they're hella repetitive, but it kicks dick seven ways to Sunday.
Bleeding Through - are shit and only have one good song. Fuck them. Good live though.
Blink 182 - ALL THA SMALL TINGS like your fucking music talent LOLOLOLOLOL.
Blood Red Throne - Death metal with no holds barred. Their old shit is fucking HEAVY. Their new shit is still rad, but not as heavy. Yay.
Blood Stain Child - It's like melodic death metal with boop de beep. Kinda good. A bit. idk.
Bloodbath - I try to like them, but no matter what vocalist, I still turn it off after one or two songs. It's just fucking bland death metal with nothing to pull me in other than a monotonous guitar tone and an all-star cast.
Bon Iver - :3 so pretty
Born Of Osiris - Their first album was kinda cool, I guess, but their second album made me hate them. Deathcore. Blah.
Brain Drill - Hey, you wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? DUN DUN DUN WIDDLY DEE DUN WIDDLY DIDDLY DUN DUN DUN DUN WIDDLY DEEEE DEE DIDDLY DUN DIDDLY DEEEE. Fuck I love this band. Both of their albums gave me fucking satisfying boners.
Brazen Bull - Post grind/noise. I love them so goddamn much omg. FOXXXXXXXXXGOAWN. =[=[=[=[
Bring Me The Horizon - God. I feel like a faggot for liking this band, but their new album was awesome. Shit, but awesome. I don't want a song called Fuck again though, please guys.
Brutal Truth - The most American grindcore I've heard. They're good, but in comparison to FTF, Nasum, Pig Destroyer or other grind, they lack something. I dunno.
Bullet For My Valent- hahaha. Sorry. I lied. Fuck this band.
Callenish Circle - Some of the most evil melodic death metal I've heard. They have an eery sound to them and I don't know how they get it. Pretty fuckin' sick.
Cannibal Corpse - KILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Captain Cleanoff - Australia's best grindcore band. These guys are relentless, heavy, angry and filled with fuck. If you like grind and don't listen to them, go fuck yourself.
Carcass - I know they're the forefathers of most grind and death and shit, but they bore me to tears. CUM@ME.
Cascada - HAHAHAHAH YESSSSS. 'CAAAAAUSE EVERYTIME WE TOUCH, I GET THIS FEELING. etc. k.
Cattle Decapitation - Vegans being vegans about vegans. They also play evil goregrind. Go figure.
ChthoniC - It's like melodic black metal, but good. They're also asian. They also have an er-hu. They're kinda awesome.
BLOODY MIRROR OF RETRIBUTION.
Clinging To The Trees Of A Forest Fire - DOOMGRIND. WAT. OXYMORON LOL. Rapeheavy. Also really good. No fires included, sadly.
Cloudkicker - A nerd who writes djent. I don't get it.
Converge - Forefathers of metalcore, awesome, noisy, sexy. Jake Bannon will rip your face off with his voice and nobody will ever care because THAT'S THE KINDA BAND THEY ARE.
Cradle of Filth - They ruled up until 2000. Then I stopped caring. OOOH THE VOCALIST HAS A SKELETON OF A TAIWANESE BOY IN HIS KITCHEN. EDGY.
Cross The Lips Of Grace - Deathcore from Australia. They have like, one good song. Go figure.
Cryptopsy - Up until The Unspoken king, they fucking ruled. Now it's deathcore that I've heard before. Cool. Fucking french canadians.
Cult of Luna - Post metal/prog sludge/something, I dunno. They're fucking boring. I don't know why they're so hyped. I guess that's heroin addicts for you. Shit.
Cynic - LOL I M A ROBOT. <33333
Daath - With weird circles above the A's, and all in caps. To me, they're a heavy Slipknot, and you know what? I'm so okay with that. They rule so goddamn hard it gets me off.
Dark Tranquillity - Gothenburg. Melodeath. Hardon.
Darkane - The first 'heavy' band I ever listened to. Swedish melodeath/thrash shit. Listening to it now, I wonder why I liked it that much. It's kinda shit.
Datarock -
I RAN INTO HER ON COMPUTER CAMP.
WAS 1984.
NOT SURE, I HAD MY COMMODORE 64, HAD TO SCORE.
NOT WITH A DIRTY TRAMP.
SHE'S NOT A TRAMP, HER NAME IS JUDY.
THAT'S A NICE NAME.
YEAH, SHE'S A NICE GIRL.
BIG DEAL, DID YOU GET IN HER PANTS?
SHE'S NOT THAT KIND OF A GIRL, BOOGER.
WHY? DOES SHE HAVE A PENIS?
Dawn of Tears - Epic melodic death metal. Female singer. Kinda cool. Kinda boring.
Daysend - Metalcore from Australia. Kinda pretty cool, if you like dull music.
Deadlock - Awesome melodic death metal with a female singer. Really cool, but really generic.
Deadmau5 - doofdoofdoofcoolbro
Death - I never got the appeal. I mean, they were rad and they shaped a lot of modern music, but I don't like it much. Chuck Schuldiner (RIP) was fucking rad, though.
Death Cab For Cutie - I love Plans. It's a flawless album. cum@me.
Decapitated - lilvitekisdead. Awesome as shit death metal. It's just not special.
Deicide - Probably the most boring death metal I've ever heard. I keep trying to get into them, but they bore me to tears. Would be happy to eradicate them.
Delain - Some shitty goth metal with a female singer. It's boring as shit. Fuck them.
Demon Hunter - Christian metalcore. I don't know why, but their christian roots seem to put emphasis on the lyrical importance in their songs. I don't follow their beliefs, but they definitely put more emotion into their music than a lot of bands. Still generic >.>
Dethklok are a terrible band. I had to bold it. They're bad. Sure, there's skillful guitar work there, but come on. It's boring. Maybe a few songs that are fun for novelty reasons. idk. fuck em.
DevilDriver - I dunno. They're kinda heavy for entry level metal, but they're kinda shit. Their 2003 album kicks dick.
Devin Townsend - He's my husband. Back the fuck off. Such a god.
Devin Townsend Project - Devin's magnum opus. BLISS YAY.
DGM - Melodic death metal/power metal. It's cheesy, but it's really cool. Great vidja music.
Diablo - The only reason I keep them is because they have a cover of ABBA's Dancing Queen. Other than that, they're probably one of the shittiest melodeath bands I've ever heard. Go out of your way to avoid them.
Diablo Swing Orchestra - Avant Garde Metal. That not enough? It's jazz mixed with swing mixed with metal. Rules so fucking hard that I get a boner each time I listen to them. They have a fucking song about a cookie, goddamn. Champs.
Dimmu Borgir - Apart from like, one album, they suck. It's all goddamn cheese. Nerds trying to be tuff.
Disarmonia Mundi - Pretty awesome melodic death. Great headbanging and dickpunching music.
Divine Heresy - wat.
Dream Theater - Obviously a shit band, not my favourite band or anything.
Edge of Sanity - Like Opeth, only original! OH HE DIDN'T.
Eluveitie - Melodic Death/Folk. They're pretty fucking rad. Like. Really. Blast beatz n' violinz.
Enrique Iglesias - Wait, fuck.
Ephel Duath - IM12ANDWHATISTHIS
Epica - Would bone Simone Simons. Relentlessly. Goddamn. Hot.
Equilibrium - Pretty damn awesome folk/melodeath in studio. Shitty band live. Upsetting.
Exivious - Progressive/death/jazz bullshit with two members from Cynic. Rules.
Exodus - When did thrash get boring. Fuck me.
Explosions In The Sky - I know they rule, I know they're post-rock, I know that everytime I hear the band name I giggle because I think of multiple dicks jizzing in space.
Fightstar - I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU, FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU SAT AND SANG TO ME TRYING TO MAKE ME BETTER. ilu.
Five Finger Death Punch - I don't actually listen to this steaming cesspool of fuck, it's okay.
Fleet Foxes - Hauntingly beautiful.
Fleshgod Apocalypse - Classically influenced death metal. It's heavy, it's catchy, it's fucking brilliant.
Fleshwrought - Navene from Animosity/Animals As Leaders and Johnny from Job For A Cowboy. Second best metal album of 2010. Rule.
Florence And The Machine - Lungs rules. Amazingly. It's fucking beautiful. So's she.
Fuck The Facts - Grind. Brutal. Fucking steaming hot vocalist. Would bang till I set her on fire.
I need to finish this. You all need to pester me to finish this. I'm just done with it tonight.
